Many parents and caregivers are wondering how to properly thank and tip those who care for their children all year. The holidays are a great time to show gratitude and offer thanks to the people who have made our year better because of their help. Parents want to show appreciation but may be nervous that their attempts aren't the "right" way to do so.
"People want to do the right thing—whether it is giving them a monetary gift or something they bought or made for them—and are unsure about how much to give their care providers to show gratitude for their services," says Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder of The Etiquette School of New Yorkin Manhattan and Southampton.
Cash tips are generally standard for some providers, such as nannies and babysitters, but rules get murkier for teachers and babysitters, though some type of gift is often given. That said, inflation has had an impact on people this year. Many families are struggling to buy something for one another. Though they appreciate their care providers, a holiday gift can feel like another expense.
Napier-Fitzpatrick understands.
"Due to the higher cost of goods and services this year, many may be struggling to make ends meet," Napier-Fitzpatrick says. Though she has guidance on monetary and other gift ideas, she emphasizes it's just that—guidance and not a guilt-inducing requirement.
"The most important thing to keep in mind is that it is important to show your gratitude in some form," Napier-Fitzpatrick says.
Napier-Fitzpatrick and a financial expert shared insights on tipping care providers—and why some of the most meaningful gifts don't cost a dime.
How Much Do You Tip Babysitters and Nannies?
The generally-accepted tip for nannies and au-pairs is one to two weeks' pay in addition to a small gift from your child, Napier-Fitzpatrick says. Meanwhile, a babysitter typically gets an evening's pay plus a small gift from the child.
But money-saving expertAndrea Worochsays parents may want to consider giving more—if possible—based on the in-home provider's role. For example, you may tip a nanny or babysitter who handles school pick-ups and shuffles kids from music lessons to soccer practice a bit more than one who comes to your home and plays with your children for a couple of hours while you and your partner have a lunch date.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder of The Etiquette School of New York
"The generally-accepted tip for nannies and au-pairs is one to two weeks' pay in addition to a small gift from your child."
— Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder of The Etiquette School of New York
Do You Tip Daycare and Nursery School Teachers?
The guidance on tipping out-of-home providers has more gray areas. Teachers and daycare providers are hourly or salaried employees who parents don't directly pay. Even Woroch and Napier-Fitzpatrick offered slightly different guidance.
Napier-Fitzpatrick suggested giving daycare $20 to $70 and a small gift from the child and nursery school teachers a gift card or certificate for up to $25. Alternatively, parents can pool together funds to gift a teacher something pricier.
Woroch says it's common to stick to gift cards for nursery school teachers and daycare providers, though.
"Cash is less commonly given for daycare or teachers, though," Woroch says.
Woroch suggests giving gift cards to a favorite store or one from Visa or Mastercard.
"Just keep in mind there could be fees for activating the card and every time you use it, which would take away from the total amount you actually put on that gift card," Woroch says.
Read the fine print. If there are fees involved, Woroch suggests giving a gift card to a retailer instead. Teachers, in particular, often have tobuy items for their classrooms, so gift cards to big box retailers can go a long way.
What Are the Best Gifts for Child Care Providers?
Whether you're looking to give something small in lieu of or in addition to a cash tip, Napier-Fitzpatrack says it's perfectly acceptable to keep it small but sweet.
Gift Ideas for Child Care Providers
- Restaurant or coffee shop gift cards
- Mini-valet or belt bag to stylishly stow away keys
- An insulated thermos for on-the-go sipping
- Books based on their interests
"Most teachers say they get too many gloves and scarfs, but if the parents are pooling their resources, a very nice cashmere scarf and glove set would always be welcome, I would think," Napier-Fitzpatrick says.
But some of the most thoughtful gifts come from the child and don't cost anything.
"Children who are creative could draw a picture or write a poem," Napier-Fitzpatrack says.
Napier-Fitzpatrick suggests adding a short, personal note thanking them for helping you throughout the year to any gift. And, if in doubt, this note is enough.
"The most important thing to keep in mind is that it is important to show your gratitude in some form, whether it be a small gift, homemade baked goods, or a simple thank you note," she says.
